In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@lesbiangcemag.com.
Dear Battle Axe,
Do you think most people are honest about their weight on their driver’s license or on any other official documents?
Weightless in Woodside
Dear Weightless,
I would say as honest as they are about anything else. For instance when you go for your annual physical, the doctor may ask how many pats of butter you use daily, how many drinks per week, or what kind of birth control you are using. Do you really tell the truth? I always feel like an alarm is about to go off if I’m not honest.
Dear Battle Axe,
My best friend has this annoying habit of smacking my arm or my leg, to get my attention when we are at the movies or at a live show. She also wants to talk about whatever we are watching. Why she feels the need to do these things is beyond me. How can I get her to stop?
Annoyed and irritated!
Dear A&I,
I know exactly what you are talking about! I have a cousin who does the same thing, and it’s very annoying. What I have done in the past is tell her before the show, movie or whatever, that if she starts doing that stuff, I will ignore her. If that doesn’t stop the problem I snap her with a rubberband. That smarts, so it always works. I wonder if there are any support groups for that? Hmmmm.
Dear Battle Axe,
I have been having a recurring dream. I’m in line to purchase a coffee in a very long line at a coffee shop. I wait forever and just as I get to the front of the line and they are about to take my order, I blink and all of a sudden I’m back at the end of the line. What do you think this means? Should I be worried?
Dear Should I be,
Yes. I think you are starting to become obsessed with coffee. Have you considered trying decaffeinated? How about herbal tea? I think your inner child is trying to tell you something. Maybe you need a bah-bah before bed. Seek help my friend.
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