In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@lesbiangcemag.com.

Dear Battle axe,
I was traveling through California recently and I happened to see a woman sporting a mullet. You know, business in front and a party in back. How is it possible that someone would still be wearing that hairstyle? I mean really? I’m totally shocked!

Dear Totally Shocked,
Was she wearing it with pride? Did she also have a fanny pack? Was she in a Country and Western band? Were you in Bakersfield?

Dear Battle axe,
What do you think of people grooming themselves on public transportation, specifically clipping their nails. I swear I almost got my eye gouged with a clipped nail flying across the bus.  I was totally grossed out!

Dear Grossed Out,
I think it’s beyond gross. Personal hygiene belongs behind closed doors! I once saw a taxi driver with his foot on the steering wheel, clipping his toenails. AND I saw a couple on a plane grooming each other, the gal was pinching her boyfriends blackheads…need I say more??  People, whatever happened to discretion? Please do your grooming at home for gosh darn sakes!

And while we are on the subject of “Dos & Don’ts”

Dear Battle axe,
Do you know anything about sanding furniture or other material? Should I purchase a fancy sander or is it best to do it by hand?

Dear Sander,
I’ve learned one thing for sure, don’t use one of those power sanders that feel like a jackhammer and your vibrator on the same day.