Imagine you could have anything you want in 2014. Would sexual feelings be on your list? Whether alone or with a partner, would you like to feel more sexually awake, curious, open to intimacy? If wanting could make it happen, would you want to feel more sexual in 2014?

The magic lies in saying to yourself “I want to feel…” This is how wishful fantasies change into actual experiences. It could be that you start noticing cues ad connections that you didn’t see before. You may choose to do some things differently because you have a desired outcome. You may take more responsibility for creating a positive sexual experience.

Or maybe the magic is something more mystical, like the universe responds to your psychic vibrations and makes sexuality manifest itself in your life. I don’t know why, but I am sure that it starts with focusing on how you’d like to feel. Would you like to have more positive sexual feelings in 2014? Think about it!

Your Inner Judge may have a problem with this. She may tell you that wanting is needy, selfish, greedy, self-indulgent, immature, etc. etc. She (the Inner Judge) adds “No one’s sexual all the time” and “There’s a lot more to intimacy than just sex.” Of course there is. But really, wanting is just nature’s way of guiding you toward fulfilling experiences. This doesn’t take away from anyone else. On the contrary, you usually give more of your better self when you feel better about yourself.

Think about how you’d like to feel in 2014. Put it in words, for yourself.

Glenda Corwin, Ph.D is a clinical psychologist who specializes in lesbian sexual issues. She is the author of Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same Sex Couples (Seal Press, 2010). Dr. Corwin writes for the Huffington Post: Gay Voices, Epochalips.com, as well as her own blog on www.DrGlendaCorwin.com. She presents frequently at professional conferences, and is a regular guest on Barb Elgin’s LesbianLoveTalk radio program.