In my 67 years I have learned many things and have gained some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to me ‘Ask a Battle Axe’ at info@lesbiangcemag.com.

Dear Battleaxe,
Every time I go to dances for us older gals I see women who are clearly over 50, dancing like fools, sometimes grinding with 3 women like a sandwich. They seem to be having a great time but should they be doing this at their age?

Dear Party Pooper,
Of course they should, who says you can’t be dancing like a fool until you are ninety. I say do it until your knees give out and your walker gets in the way. “ I will survive, hey – hey….”

Dear Battleaxe,
I recently had someone tell me my boobs were very “70s”. What do you think she meant? I don’t get it!— Debbie Downer

Dear Ms. Downer,
She means the gals aren’t perky enough…you need a new bra!

Dear Battleaxe,
I was recently in the restroom at work and the person in the next stall was talking on her cell phone. I mean really, as if she can’t wait ‘til she’s done AND as if the person on the other end of the line can’t hear the bathroom noises! It made me want to fart really loud just to show her!  Am I the only one that feels like that?

Dear Loud Farter,
Probably not. To be quite honest, people will do almost anything in the bathroom. Once, at work, two women walked in and went into side-by-side stalls while I was in the third stall. They didn’t skip a beat and continued to talk as they each did their business. One began doing numero dos, and she was grunting, heaving and groaning! She continued talking to her co-worker about how she had to fire someone and get a ton of letters out as she huffed and puffed and just about blew the house down.  OMG!! I couldn’t believe it, I laughed out loud, finished my business and rushed out. To this day, over 20 years later, it still cracks me up!