Dear Battleaxe,
I live in San Francisco and take public transportation to work. The afternoon trains are crowded and smelly. What can I do about the bad smelling people on the evening trains?

Dear PT Advocate,
Good for you for taking public transportation! Less cars on the road!
Crowded buses or trains are not fun. Just this morning, I had to let a couple of buses go because it was too damn crowded. When I finally got on, I was sandwiched between two men, one was at armpit level and he was hanging on to the bar on top andI could smell his Old Spice. I turned to the other side and there was a very tall man, where I was at his butt level. I prayed that he would not fart. Another man moved behind me and he had such bad breath that when he sighed, it singed my hair. I was stuck in a surround-sound of ugliness. I somehow got my arm through on the side of the giant and reached for the pole so I could hang on….(I could only hope that was the pole!) 

So in answer to your question, I just step on people’s feet and they usually move away or as a last resort I fart…and then they move real quick.

Eleanor Palacios is The Battleaxe

Dear Battleaxe,

I work for a woman who I really like and have a lot of respect for. Lately, I notice that she has a few long chin hairs. The thing about these hairs is that indoors you really can’t see them—but if you are outside or in strong light—you can! Do you think she is aware? Should I tell her?

Dear Concerned Worker,

I know exactly what you mean. I have one that keeps coming back in the same place and sometimes it is almost 1/2 an inch long. I always check the mirror in my car visor as this is the perfect place to spot those hairs. 

You never know whether a woman is aware, she might be one of those that wants it that way and likes being a billy goat. I would try this, have a small mirror and tweezers on your desk, when you see her coming your way pick up the mirror and tweezers and pretend you are plucking. If she stops and asks what you are doing you can say how much the hairs bug you and you realized you had one. If she touches her face as if wondering, hand her the mirror and tweezers. If she looks at you like you are crazy, put the items away and tell her how much you like goats.

Dear Battleaxe,

I along with a group of high school friends are planning our 50th High School reunion. We have had three planning meetings but what seems to be happening is that we all forget what we talked about at the previous meeting even when one of us takes notes. None of us know how to use Facebook, or want to and forget about Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr or Flickr…we thought that was a horses’ name. What do you suggest we do to ensure we plan this appropriately?

Dear Forgetful,

Hire a young person, or I am sure one of you has a grandchild that can take notes for you, video your meetings and handle all the social media you need. Their brains just work better than ours when it comes to these things. Why get stressed out, just let them do it and this way you all can plan on having a great time at your reunion. You still all remember how to party, right?

In my 67 years I have learned many things and as a wise Latina, I will share with you some good old-fashioned common sense. Please send your Battle Axe questions to Eleanor@lesbiangcemag.com.