By Jennie McNulty SPOILER ALERT. THIS IS SATIRE. Okay, read on…
So, I know the least-sportiest amongst you had to watch even a small part of the Women’s World Cup matches, right? You watched for the “only once every 4 years†drama. You watched for the athletic skill and passion these women have. Or, you just watched ‘cuz you thought Megan Rapinoe is hot. In any case, you watched.
Now really, what did the women do that would deserve equal pay with the guys? They’ve won Four World Cups, and the men haven’t won any yet – how boring are we? (For the record the men are so not boring that they’ve never even made it out of the 1st round). The women have won 2 successive Cups but, again, boooooring. Come on, the guys run faster. Their goalies can jump higher and, did you know that, in the past 3 years, the men’s games generated $49.9 million and the women’s, $50.8? Well, right there that tells the story. It may LOOK like more, but don’t forget the “Presidential Math†we all do now. That is, in something where highest total numbers win, if A is less than B, then A wins. It’s science people. Well, technically—math…but it’s part of that whole STEM thing women don’t belong in either.
And, what about visibility? The USWNT names are out there, people know these women (and not just Rapinoe for you lascivious louts out there). They know their jersey numbers and their tattoos. Little girls everywhere want to be like them now. You could probably ask any young girl to name a player or two on the USWNT and she’d be able to. How about the men’s side? Well, there’s… and, uh…. I don’t think little boys would know those names either. So, we need to pay the men more so more people know who they are. Come on the guys need our help!
I mean, anyone can get a dismissively challenging tweet from the President but who from the men’s squad has the Presi-DUNCE called out? Nobody. See? The poor guys? How will they ever succeed?
The women were featured on TV; a parade is being held in their honor in NYC and even Snoop Dogg has their backs: “Sorry ass f–king men from the U.S. team may never win sh-t, ain’t ever win sh-t, can’t even get out the f–king first round,†he continued. “Man, pay them ladies, man. Pay the girls what they’re worth.â€-The Hill
….. (screeeeetching sound)
Wait a minute. Maybe Mr. Dogg has a point? Maybe they SHOULD get equal pay? Maybe it’s time to pass the damn ERA amendment from my youth (which, sadly, was a LONG time ago)? Maybe it’s time we realize we are not only equal but better?
…Nah, it’s just not the right time for that. I mean, slow and steady, right? For goodness sake, next thing ya know women are gonna wanna be President…
JENNIE McNULTY has been seen on Logo, NBC, TLC and has worked for Olivia, Atlantis Cruises as well as entertaining the troops overseas.
Check out her upcoming San Francisco show!
Comedy and a Couch …An Intimate Evening with Vickie Shaw and Jennie McNulty
Jennie McNulty and Vickie Shaw – both voted top 10 lesbian comics by Curve Magazine – each perform stand up comedy sets then Jennie interviews Vickie on the hottest topics in the moment. And/or wherever else these 2 crazy ladies go!! There will also be an audience Q & A. Picture a stand up comedy show, combined with, “Inside the Actor’s Studio” -only done by 2 comics.
VICKIE SHAW Is one of Olivia Travel’s favorite performers and was featured in the documentary, “Laughing Matters”. She has been seen on Comedy Central, LOGO, Bravo, and A&E.
