by Monica Palacios ©️All rights reserved
And I wasn’t even looking for bras. It all started when I was shopping for underwear—in packages. You’ll get the most for your buck if you buy panties in bulk. Sometimes these packages will offer 3 more panties for free as a bonus. And who cares if these bonus panties are for pets—they’re free!
As I was searching for my style and size—Tow Truck 2000—I saw a few signs plainly stating: Don’t open the packages, chump! But I was prepared because I brought a disguise—a nun’s outfit. Standardly when nuns are out in public, rules don’t apply to them—everyone knows this. As I was carefully and neatly opening a few packages, the sales clerk came up to me and asked: “Sister, can I help you open the packages?†What did I tell you?!
I found my two panty packs and was leaving the bulk department, when I turned and saw this mysterious section of black bras in the corner. I felt compelled to touch them and to my surprise they were super soft. I read the decorative tag revealing that the bra was made out of soft stretchy micro fabric: 95% nylon and 5% yak hair. I then brought the bra up to my cheek to feel the velvety silky plushy plush plush. I was stunned and midway through an orgasm, when I figured I should try this magical bra on. I realized it would be best to actually go into the dressing room and not disrobe in the aisle. Once inside my cubicle, I peeled off the nun ensemble and slipped into the Bali Comfort Revolution Wireless T-shirt Comfort Full Coverage Bra—that’s the actual name.
I wept openly. And it wasn’t because I was experiencing the comfort of a t-shirt against my breasts. I cried because it felt as if I was wearing warm cozy socks on my boobs. Sock bra. This experience was so profound because I have been a full figured gal all my life, and I’ve had to wear industrial strength bras with underwire that have pinched, poked, and ridiculed me. But not anymore, dammit! Not anymore!
Catch Monica performing I’M STILL HERE November 15 & 16, 2019 at Manny’s in San Francisco. Tickets: www.welcometomannys.com
