There seems to be a finite amount of freedom to go around. They gave some to the gays, so they’ve had to cut some from another group. Sadly they’ve had to take some from the ladies. Women are the new gays. The takebacks include defunding Planned Parenthood, defunding contraceptives, de-personhooding women and other schemes to […]
Once again disappointment humps my leg. It’s still early but so far this summer I have not been invited to one Higgs boson Discovery party. And I have an amazing outfit. Not to give it all away, but I had consulted with several Lady Gaga designers. Do people not know how amazing the discovery of […]
You Latin III scholars have already worked out the translation, but for those who stopped at Latin I’s amo-amas-amat threesome, here you go: “The butler did it.†Remember, the verb always goes at the end of the sentence. Here’s what Pope Benedict’s butler did: he leaked confidential papal correspondence to a journalist who released a […]
It has been twenty years since that Year of the Woman thing. No one would ever tell who she was. And they announced it in late June, so it wasn’t even a full year. At only three months into the year, I propose we name this year The Year of the Woman Legislator (YOWL). I […]
It’s Half-Time in America! Let’s bring to the field our half-time show! It’s not the Madonna. It’s the Whore and her Marching Taliband led by that aspermative action majorette Rick “the P is silent†Sanctimoron. He’s from Old Dominion. Because of a dwindling supply of white people, the white wing of the Republican Party wants […]
Used to be if you were a comic one of the guaran-dam-teed high-larious things you could do was run for president. Pat Paulsen, Lily Tomlin of the “Stop It Party†and Ron Paul have all done it. Now, thanks to Stephen Colbert, you can’t just run for president. No, now you have to have your […]
One Saturday afternoon when I was maybe five or six, my Dad was reading the paper and I was watching some grim Dickens-ish movie on little our black and white GE console. A tattered, beaten down family was sent to a huge dark, foreboding end-of-the-line-for-you Debtors Prison. Under the big white wig, the judge who […]
Last Saturday night, the smell of overheating lamination machines wafted from Catholic Church basements in the US, Canada, UK and India. The next morning, parishioners lucky enough to attend churches not downsized by pedophilia payouts, consulted freshly plasticized pew cards for the new wording of their Mass. Rome had ordered up the change in a […]
I’ve had a major recurrence of my Bush Tourette Syndrome*. At its peak, it was debilitating. Once when I was screaming at then somehow President George Bush on TV, a friend’s three-year-old, terrified by my outburst and very very bad language, pleaded softly, “Please use your inside voice.†My doctors had warned me of a […]
When some guesthouses in our little resort town have no room left at the inn, instead of hanging a tasteful “No Vacancy†sign, they hang a “Sorry†sign. Sometimes the ‘sorry’ is in quotation marks. Are they not really sorry? Are they being ironic? What is the translation for this hospitality term of art? “Sorry […]
Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!
Robin
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