LESBIAN HUMOR // Browsing posts in LESBIAN HUMOR
World Serious
I’ve had a major recurrence of my Bush Tourette Syndrome*. At its peak, it was debilitating. Once when I was screaming at then somehow President George Bush on TV, a friend’s three-year-old, terrified by my outburst and very very bad language, pleaded softly, “Please use your inside voice.†My doctors had warned me of a […]
Best Coffee in San Francisco
Cup of Joe, Java, Jamoke, Mud… Call it what you want, we all know it as coffee and whatever that may be, we all love to enjoy it. Why did coffee become something we do on the run?  Is it the caffeine? After going to Costa Rica and visiting a coffee plantation, I understand all […]
I’m a Monkey’s Uncle
The Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie is Curious George on steroids and a shot of Jack Daniels. Since I was a little dykeling, I always wanted a chimpanzee as a pet so he could do my Saturday chores and then we could hang out in our tree house looking at Playboy. Carrying […]
Who’s Sorry Now?
When some guesthouses in our little resort town have no room left at the inn, instead of hanging a tasteful “No Vacancy†sign, they hang a “Sorry†sign. Sometimes the ‘sorry’ is in quotation marks. Are they not really sorry? Are they being ironic? What is the translation for this hospitality term of art? “Sorry […]
The Sweetest Thing You’ll Ever Wear
In 2006 my girlfriend and I relocated to Boston MA. My first sighting was of a line around the block for a place that seemed pretty self explanatory…Johnny Cupcakes. I figured by the time I parked the car got in the horrendous line and stumbled in to the bake shop there would be no cupcakes […]
Twirling Nipples and Grunting at the Gym
In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@lesbiangcemag.com. Dear Battleaxe, Â I’m always looking at porn at work. I know it is wrong but the thrill of getting caught adds to my excitement and makes my nipples twirl. Should I lock my office […]
Chantal Carrere — Tits and a Head Paddling
Hello bored and deviant people! The video attached is the freakshow you’ve been waiting for!!! What you are about to witness is Robin and I in search of a punch line on the Charles River in Boston, Massachusetts. Robin told me there was a mysterious Billy Goat McGruff blocking passage under the bridges we were […]
New York State of Mind – Rights Not Rites
Congratulations to all who worked so hard and so long to bring Marriage Equality to the empiric state: those who stood vigil in Albany, those who lobbied the halls, those who changed their minds, those who wrote checks, those on whose shoulders this victory stands. I’m still in a NY pinch-me state of shock. First, […]
The Rapture and the Big “O”
Dear Battleaxe, May 21st 2011 came and went with no Rapture. The 21st was supposed to be Judgement Day. I really didn’t believe anything was going to happen but I did make sure my affairs were in order and I went to confession. What do you think happened? —Always prepared Dear Always Prepared, The only […]
The Patriarchy is so Dada
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, he of the Madoff mane, alleged rapist and head of the International Monetary Fund – talk about branding! - is not too big to jail. Tant pis. Wait, wait, there’s more. Arnold reveals he fathered a child ten years ago with a member of his household staff. Charlie Sheen is devastated to be […]
What's InsideA lesbian smorgasbord
Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!
Robin
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