LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS & SEX // Browsing posts in LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS & SEX
Celebrate Lesbian Love!
Let’s talk about celebrating romantic love.  Specifically, celebrating what psychologist Dorothy Tennov named “limerence.† This is a state of falling in love,  characterized by obsessive thoughts, intense longing, and delirious bliss when thinking of the beloved.   New lovers lean into each other, pay passionate attention, adore each other, feel their hearts bursting,  and their spirits skipping […]
Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’
Years ago, scientists examined thousands of effective teachers to identify the factors that made them so successful. Researchers looked at education, age, income, socioeconomic status, family background, and many other factors. After countless hours of data collection, they found one single factor determined the success of a teacher. With-it-ness. That is, people who are aware […]
5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family
On the list of things people fear the most, I’m told public speaking sits at the top. This time of year makes me wonder if meeting the parents is number three or four on the top fears list. What if her family isn’t okay with the gay thing? What if her family finally accepted it, […]
Lesbian Dating: Try a Little Kindness
Before the election,  I was writing a response to a question about the ifs, whens, and hows of “casual sex.† A woman planning an Olivia cruise wondered if she could enjoy a shipboard sexual encounter, without dire emotional consequences.  It’s a valid question, worth being thoughtful about. But then we had this election, and that […]
3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships
In past relationships, there was always a moment when I knew it was over. In one particularly volatile relationship, many odd things happened over time that didn’t feel quite right – secrecy, aggression, and pulling me in and pushing me away. But it was one rather benign instant when I knew. I don’t recall the […]
Lesbian Dating: Watch for these 3 Wake-Up Calls
I am sitting in stopped traffic, headed home from the airport following a whirlwind work trip that left me defeated. Knee bouncing impatiently up and down, I replay the toxic trip, for my toxic employer as I sit at stopped train tracks. Finally, the gates open and I inch my way up to the stop […]
3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating
I kneel down and fasten the timing chip neatly to my running shoe, stand up and take in the pack of runners around me. Hands on my hips, I take a breath. It occurs to me that I’m about to run 13.1 miles and I may not be sufficiently trained. As I stretch, I recall […]
Lesbian Dating: Love Me, Love My Ex?
Soon after a wonderful woman comes into your life, you may notice a phenomenon unique to our lesbian world.  She’s still good friends with her ex-partner, and likes to hang out with her and include her in friend gatherings. We have a lot of mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it’s wonderful to […]
3 Ways Lesbians Ignore ‘Red Flags’ When Dating
“I have appreciated your friendship, but don’t think I can be friends anymore.â€Â My directness, combined with my odd word choice surprises me, even as I hear myself speaking them aloud to a friend (now formerly known as). We part on civil terms and I’m proud of our adult-like recognition that this friendship isn’t working anymore. […]
Lesbian Dating: 3 Signs of Emotional Abuse
I am sitting on my office floor, old journals and photos spread around me. For the past hour, I have been reading my diaries from two decades ago to remind me of who I am and perhaps to provide a little perspective. As I sip wine and read about the events and feelings of my […]
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