Packing for a trip is painful. It’s equivalent to shopping for bras—you gotta do it, there’s a lot of huffing and puffing and eventually your nipples get pinched—and not in a good way. It takes me all day to pack. I put stuff in my suitcase then I take stuff out. I try on clothes […]
Lesbian Comic Poppy Champlin is Back! I loved watching the old comics on TV— Flip Wilson, Johnny Carson, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason and the Honeymooners and Lucy, I loved Lucy. I would watch that all the time, and The Three Stooges. I wasn’t a big fan of the Marx Brothers I think their humor went […]
In my 67 years I have learned many things and have gained some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to me ‘Ask a Battle Axe’ at info@lesbiangcemag.com. Dear Battleaxe, Every time I go to dances for us older gals I see women who are clearly over 50, dancing like fools, sometimes grinding with 3 […]
Meet our new humor columnist: Poppy Champlin! Have you ever laughed so hard that you can’t stop? You want to stop, you keep saying, “Stop! Stop it my stomach hurts!†And after a while you don’t even know why you are laughing and then you are laughing at that. It is a phenomenon and one […]
The last time I had the flu Roosevelt was president. I was always bragging: “I never get sick.” Well two weeks ago, I came down with a hard core case of influenza to the max. When your hair hurts–you know it’s bad. On Monday I was super exhausted, on Tuesday I was coughing all day […]
San Francisco State! Go Gators! Any Gators in the house? Let me tell you how I got to my cable car college. I was a freshman at Yuba College in northern California—you have that confused look on your face. It’s the city college in Marysville—you still have that confused look on your face. I really […]
They say Jeb Bush could get the nominee this time around. They say it could be a dynasty. I say it’s a travesty. The only Bush I want to see in the white house is Hilary’s. Comedy is a great thing. It is a healing thing. When you laugh you disarm yourself and the world. […]
I became a vegetarian for a dame. I know—the things we do for love. But when I met this lovely lady 22 years ago, my meat consumption was minimal. I was a waitress at a steakhouse and serving grilled flesh all the time made me shiver and my nipples spin. And then one day, the […]
JLo kissed me in my dreams. This surprised me because I don’t fantasize about Jennifer Lopez—ever. Eva Mendes—absolutely. Tinker Bell—I mean, who doesn’t. A stack of pancakes—always. But JLo—not so much. This dream was trippy because I was my current self in my childhood home at 2061 Cinderella Lane–go ahead make the joke—”Do you have […]
My last experience on a plane was reminiscent of the 80’s and what I mean by that is three words—People Express Airlines. Way back in the day when you could actually smoke a cigarette on a plane and add to the already toxic inflight recycled bad breath air—you could also travel from LA to New […]
Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!
Robin
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