It was a punch in the arm that caught me off guard enough to wake me up to the reality that I was in a toxic relationship with an emotional abuser. Life was an addictive cycle of highs and lows that ate away at my sense of who I am to the point that I […]
Recently I listened to a lovely talk about meditation, about paying attention to the present moment, practicing loving compassion, and letting go of thoughts that carry you away from your breath, or mantra, or wherever you focus when you meditate. This makes so much sense. Why is it so hard to practice these guidelines in […]
Let’s talk about celebrating romantic love.  Specifically, celebrating what psychologist Dorothy Tennov named “limerence.† This is a state of falling in love,  characterized by obsessive thoughts, intense longing, and delirious bliss when thinking of the beloved.   New lovers lean into each other, pay passionate attention, adore each other, feel their hearts bursting,  and their spirits skipping […]
Years ago, scientists examined thousands of effective teachers to identify the factors that made them so successful. Researchers looked at education, age, income, socioeconomic status, family background, and many other factors. After countless hours of data collection, they found one single factor determined the success of a teacher. With-it-ness. That is, people who are aware […]
On the list of things people fear the most, I’m told public speaking sits at the top. This time of year makes me wonder if meeting the parents is number three or four on the top fears list. What if her family isn’t okay with the gay thing? What if her family finally accepted it, […]
Before the election,  I was writing a response to a question about the ifs, whens, and hows of “casual sex.† A woman planning an Olivia cruise wondered if she could enjoy a shipboard sexual encounter, without dire emotional consequences.  It’s a valid question, worth being thoughtful about. But then we had this election, and that […]
Soon after a wonderful woman comes into your life, you may notice a phenomenon unique to our lesbian world.  She’s still good friends with her ex-partner, and likes to hang out with her and include her in friend gatherings. We have a lot of mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it’s wonderful to […]
“I have appreciated your friendship, but don’t think I can be friends anymore.â€Â My directness, combined with my odd word choice surprises me, even as I hear myself speaking them aloud to a friend (now formerly known as). We part on civil terms and I’m proud of our adult-like recognition that this friendship isn’t working anymore. […]
I am sitting on my office floor, old journals and photos spread around me. For the past hour, I have been reading my diaries from two decades ago to remind me of who I am and perhaps to provide a little perspective. As I sip wine and read about the events and feelings of my […]
Forgive me for paraphrasing David Sedaris, but we have a point in common. Isn’t everybody tired of advice, lesbian relationship advice and more advice, and isn’t it time to laugh a bit? Advice from counselors is a funny thing: I sometimes think it’s silly to give advice: how to be happy, how to be rich, […]
Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!
Robin
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